jokes
A girl phoned me the other day and said, "Come on over; nobody's home." I went over. Nobody was home. I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and radio. I remember the time that I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof. My wife made me join a bridge club. I jump off next Tuesday. I'm so ugly...I worked in a pet shop, and people kept asking how big I'd get. I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. With my old man I got no respect. I asked him, "How can I get my kite in the air?" He told me to run off a cliff.